Why?

Dying? Might feel so, yet, only you are in fact – not actually.

Nor are you enduring a “condition” which MUST and can be treated. Say a stroke? Broken nose? Appendicitis?

Nope, merely a humongous (what I call an “uptick”) of your constant pain. None of the above scenarios fit yeh.

Now, should you, IF you, fit into that emergency room method of triage – which is that list, an ORDER by which patients receive care in order of severity of injury or otherwise fixable health crisis – THEN hells bells GET THYSELF to the ER.

But.

Vomiting from extraordinary pain? Body writhing in pain? Tears, mucus, and horror rolling down your face? Lil kids’s eyes wide open staring at you in the ER waiting room. No kid whining “I’ve gotta go bathroom”, cause you already scared the shit outta them?

Pain knows no triage in an emergency room folks.

Pain has zero priority. Insane in every membrane pain causing vomiting causing dehydration, causing worse pain – means a whole hella nothing in that place hope once lived.

Sure, if you crave feeling desperation so badly. Perhaps you are masochistic enough – that you’d like to be purely reactive, outrageously desperate enough…that after those perspective of eons of tortured waiting, you determinedly (however feebly) begin wheeling yourself over to the exit. Exit being a brilliant idea. What with the brilliant idea of tipping over to the pavement, welcoming crushing car wheels..?!?

That type of act got me security attention and a quick IV. Never imagined possible horror moment, brain burned forever remembering my frightening those waiting room children with the intensity of my suffering that refused to let me have any control. Refused to let me hide that horrid visual and vocal manifestation in that waiting time, stretched to centuries (think loud gasps, retching, crying uncontrollably).

Be clear, tisn’t the ER’s fault. Simply, the whole shindig is set up for triaging those people whose medical problems can (hopefully) be “fixed” not merely brought medically into submission.

Alternatives are NECESSARY. YOU must pay attention and take control.

Take a nap. Saying you cannot if a pain uptick is rising, is akin to you thinking you won’t be melted by magma from a fast erupting volcano.

Start meditation on the regular. Meditation is scientifically proven to lower lactic acid in the blood and hemceforth throughout your whole body and brain. Lower your lactic acid, in turn raise your pain, anxiety and panic tolerance. Don’t be defeatist. KNOW this; meditation is the act of bringing your mind back to calm intention, bring it back from those sneaky thoughts – the whole “I’m bad at meditation” is a fundamental miscomprehension of what meditation IS.

Marijuana’s ability to drastically decrease nausea is a major miracle. Plus it lessens symptoms of pain for ever so many causes of pain.

Opiates? NOooooo if you are a true chronic pain sufferer you will get slammed with rebound pain that will hit you worse after a few days; far worse than that pain for which you took it in the first place. SO save any you’ve got for a last gasp attempt to knock yourself out – use em sparingly and rarely to sleep deep and avoid the ER. Do not take on the regular because your pain will only worsen. Hoard enough so you have backup.

Mostly, get your coping skills attuned to your own damn self. Feeling more oogy but want to stay at the party? Uh. No. GO home and sleep. (lil weed helps that there too). Dying to hit that concert? Nap before, nap after. Let the dishes stay dirty and go a day without underwear. Put those responsibilities like doing laundry aside, so you can get your joy on and not pay with the desire to commit suicide.

Use “the google” or whatever search engine and find the zillion legit articles about managing and coping with pain so you stay in a semblance of control of your own self.

You CAN do this.

In solidarity and lack of bullshit,

Renée

ps – Hey, if you are in pain because of an injury, something new and unknown… GO to the ER or Urgent Care – ABSOLUTELY! Just know thyself.