Guilt and insecurity are dear friends, often found canoodling, holding hands in unity.  “Am I good enough” is a question running through humankind’s mind hive, perpetrated by media inspired visions of perfection.  Otherwise known as bullshit.

KNOWING something to be bullshit isn’t the same as FEELING it to be true.

Having a current of truth vibrate through your soul, resounding in your mind, that a person IS good enough – that goes against the reality of today’s world.  A deluge, a zillion purchases we can (should?) make, are offered (or pushed upon) us in every possible setting…

Truth told, it seems the entire system is designed to keep us feeling never good enough so we stay on the treadmill of purchasing eye creams, self help tomes, basically we flail about wanting to be better (better looking, better eater, better at knowing stuff…)… I’m beginning to believe that these efforts promulgated by society are in fact designed to NEVER let us believe we are good enough.

Parenting is rife with insecurities and guilt no matter what your circumstance.

Working?  You aren’t spending enough time with your children.  Not working?  You are not sufficiently supporting your children.  Giving children space?  Neglectful.  Hands on parenting?  Helicoptering.

Parenting in pain?  How easy it is to think we are special in our guilt and insecurity.  Everything boils down to “if I didn’t have this pain I could have, I would have, I should have…”.

NOT TRUE.

We must tell ourselves that regardless of pain, we are human.  Ok, so we know we would have gone to that school concert if we weren’t writhing at home.  How easy to believe you are a bad parent because you cannot attend an event because of your pain.

Until someone else lets you know they didn’t make it because they forgot.

Or someone else just didn’t think it was important and so didn’t attend.

Or someone else couldn’t make it because of what amounts to reasons limited in number only by your imagination.

Give yourself a break.

You do what you can.  You remember that all any person can do is their best.

Everyone’s best varies, ya know, just like the people are varied.

Breathe and let insecurity and guilt go away for a bit, let those toxic motherkillers take a walk without you pulling them back.

Be as good as you can.  Know the pain doesn’t make you bad.

See yourself and your actions – without the cloud those toxic emotions create.

Yours in efforts (yes efforts, ’cause it ain’t easy!) at achieving clarity,

Renée